Yesterday was a great day. Our entire family of 5 snuggled up in our queen-size bed for an afternoon nap. This may seem crazy, but the total weight of the younger 3 members = 64 lbs., so it is not too hard to fit. Actually, since Darin and Holden both want to sleep by the bed rail, they are sort of stacked - Holden with his head about 2 feet down in the bed, then Darin right above him. It is pretty cute.
Our life has been on full-speed-ahead since about June 12th, when we started working on getting to see Darin. Laundry has been pushed aside. Grocery shopping has been on an as-needed, if-eating-is-convenient basis. Toilets have been getting grimmier. Joel has been finishing summer school. And he took his last final at 1pm yesterday. Full-speed ahead.
Halt.
We finally stood still, all of us together, a family, in the same place at the same time. And it was beautiful. I love these moments.
Then the evening just got better. I actually got the laundry done, the toilet clean - and the outside says alot about my inner chaos. So that came into order to. Our evening was spent dancing. And rapping. Holden and Arabella spinned about with reckless abandon, falling down and crashing into one another. Then hugging and wrestling.
This is what life is all about.

Now we are about to have 10 days of vacation together. I am so excited. I remember the driving-vacations with my parents well. At 8, we drove to New York to see my godparents, Pete & Carol. Dad sang old hymns loudly, off key. We listened to books on tape. We played the alphabet game. Time well-spent. Just last summer, mom hit the road with me, Arabella, & Holden for Florida. That trip wasn't perfect. Holden didn't like being stuck in the carseat, so half my time was spent hanging over the backseat, trying to nurse. Don't picture it. But we got to see my cousins who live in Saudi Arabia. And play in the ocean. And I had 45 mins with my grandad - the last moments I saw him before he went to Heaven in October. I was mad at myself, because I had planned on bringing "Green Eggs and Ham", so he could read it to my kids, and they could share my memory of this. But I forgot the book. And now the memory is only mine.

I've been thinking about Grandad alot lately. I didn't know how to mourn him last year. Such mixed emotion... his last 3 years were so full of pain, and his 2nd to last year full of healing... it felt selfish to be sad. He is in Heaven worshiping God right now. But I miss playing battleship, eating grilled cheese and potato chips, working in the garage and inventing things with him.

What a great design of the Father - the family. How else would we know "love"?