Friday, December 26, 2008

A new tradition.... Being St. Nick

So, this Christmas, Joel and I have tried hard to re-program the kids
from 'I want' to 'Christ gave, so I give'

The hard part is that we have never bought them Christmas presents -
but they get a TON from all our loving family.
We did tell our families we have all we need, but of course they still
showered us with blessings.

Also, we have never directly addressed Santa Claus. We see him in
Christmas movies, but we haven't said, 'this gift is from him.'
Then we went to a play @ the Interactive Theater that gave a history
of St Nicholas with the message of it is all about giving... But
ending with the normal Santa still alive @ the north pole.

So about 2 weeks ago, Holden tells Bella, 'Jesus is fake.'
I said, 'Holden, why did you say that?'
Holden: 'Cuz Santa's pretend, and Johnny (our 'Elf on the Shelf') is
fake, so Jesus is too.'
This was Joel's greatest fear realized. I did not hesitate to kill
Santa and the Elf. Salvation was at stake.
Me: 'Johnny is fake. And St Nick was a nice old man 100's of years
ago, and he is dead. But Jesus is alive, your creator and your
salvation.'

This pretty much shaped the rest of our Christmas. No more silliness.
Fortunately, my mom was thinking along the same lines.
We started a new tradition. While the rest of the children waited for
Santa Christmas Eve, we took blankets, socks filled with goodies, and
hot soup to homeless men on the streets of Houston. And this time,
Holden said, 'I'm being just like Jesus, feeding people.'
And I said, 'just like St Nick copied Jesus, too.'

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Another Piper

Joel and I read the blogs of Abraham and Molly Piper.... Abraham is the 3rd son of Pastor John Piper.

Since he is the web-content editor for the Desiring God blog, he was
also at the conference.

We went to lunch and talked for a few hours.

Here's the weird thing: to sit across from basically a stranger, and
know their interests, family, sorrows and joys. Kinda fun....
Lots easier than starting from scratch.

Piper transforms me again!

Well, actually Jesus transforms me, but uses Piper's words to do it.

Back in 1999, 1 1/2 years after my conversion, I went to the Passion
Conference, where I heard the message that transformed my life. John
Piper did a LONG intro, explaining how glorifying God in abundance is
what the anyone would do, glorifying God in a tragedy is what a
Christian would do, but chosing suffering to bring Him glory is what
we should do.

I lived the next 7 yrs in light of this teaching, passionately driven
to bring Him glory.

When I met and fell in love with Joel in 2000, I drug him to a
conference in Dallas @ Park City Pres (PCPC) where Piper wrecked his
life, too (in a good way).
Piper told us that the call was not to be missionaries, but to be martyrs.
Joel's never been one to do anything halfway, so he understood that he
would have to put God ahead of EVERYTHING.
Joel wasn't ready. On the ride home from Dallas, Joel bought a pack of
cigarettes and tried to run back to his old life.

In the past year, I have been struggling with my faith a lot. No
disbelief, but faith. My courage for God has waned.... It began to
feel pointless.
And I haven't known what to do about it.

I shared some of this with a missionary, Shannon, I spent last weekend
at a Pastoral Vision pow-wow with. She prayed some poignant prayers
for me then.

This weekend @ the Desiring God Regional Conference in Austin, Piper
once again put me in my place.
Below God, in awe of Him, in need of Him.

The topic was Job and his suffering.
I saw God purpose and plan stretchng Job through the trials Satan
requested to attack him with.
I was reminded once again that I am the creation, and I have NO RIGHT
to question God.
I was inspired to pursue God's glory once again.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Mortgage crisis and it's effect on the Capitalist Economy

I think the whole situation with our economy, and it's link to the mortgage industry is confusing... but it was made so much more clear by listening to 2 radio programs.
Seriously, listen to these 2 episodes of This American Life:
The Global Pool of Money
Another Frightening Show on the Economy

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Crisis brings community

Since my 3 months in Rajasthan, India in 1999, there have been cultural elements I have ached for.
I have tried to articulate it many ways, from talking about living in
community-house-sharing, to trying to integrate a community meal into
Basilica.
During this recovery week post-Ike, I have had this ache 'satisfied'.... or pacified. Without a slam-packed schedule, unlimited food resources, and media, and WITH people revealing their needs to be met, I have seen lots of serious community going on.
It felt the most India-like for me at my parents' house:
- To begin with, their neighbors split their generator energy with 2 additional houses to keep all refrigerators running, instead of running more of their own stuff.
- Then as my parents' deep freeze thawed, each evening mom would set up a backporch potluck for the neighbors.
- Several days in, my Mimi came to stay there. Seeing Arabella chatter with her through the day reminded me of having my Indian Mama around Mon Singh and Anita's house.

I definitely think that I feel less alone each time a crisis comes and community helps meet the needs.

I wonder how much of this I missed out on from 2001-2004 by living on credit so that no one would know we were so desperately in need -$40,000 worth of it.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Awesome strategy

So, Joel mentioned an awesome 'problem' according to Pro-choicers.
Apparently, they (Pro Choice) are upset with the public's positive response to Sarah Palin's daughter, Piper, licking her hand and smoothing her new brother (with Down syndrome)'s hair during her mom's speech. They are afraid that this families joy at having this son, show by Piper's cuteness I guess, will prevent mothers pregnant with babies with Down syndrome from aborting.

Okay, I had no idea how flimsy their case was! If I can just convince people that Arabella and Darin bring joy, no more babies will be aborted.

This is awesome for me! Cuz I have been 'accused' before of making it sound like having a kid with Down syndrome is the next best thing after sliced bread! My accuser thought I did not acknowledge the difficulties....
When you are waiting your whole life to get married..... Do you talk about fighting and divorce, or just dream of honeymoons, sex and best friendship?
When you are talking about having kids... Do you talk about rebellious teens, broken arms, learning to turn an unruly preschooler into a functional adult, or just savor snuggles, hugs, teaching?
When you plan a vacation.... Do you stay home because it might be a long flight there, airplane food might be mediocre?

My kids are the best, and I hope our joy can save some babies lives!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Old gods

Before I was a Christian, from 1995-1997, I was controlled by anxiety.
I fought to control the people around me so they would not hurt me, and when that didn't work (it rarely does), I would be paralyzed by fear.
In the summer of 1997, I was healed from anxiety and released from taking Buspar by the Lord. This remains my main area of attack by the Enemy. I'm not sure if this is a family strong hold, or a female place of vulnerability, but I constantly pray against it for myself, my
girlfriends and my mom.

Yesterday, it slipped in and grabbed me again. I think something like a hurricane almost comes with 'permission' to worry and obsess. I heard it in the faithless statements from the news and the people around me Thursday as Ike approached. And I climbed on board. It continued in
the midst of the storm with sleepless, paralyzing fear of a tornado.
But it didn't leave with Ike. I had opened the door, and my former god, Anxiety, was happy to stay awhile. As yesterday progressed, I would get hot from no A/C and become unable to parent, to plan for the remainder of the day, figure out how to prepare for the future. When we returned to our hot house last night, I was exhausted and ready to go in debt for place to go wait for power. I could not imagine today in this messy life.
This morning, I woke up @ 4:15am. I was smoking hot but rested. I called Centerpoint to report our downed power line. Then I started looking for a cool place to go back to sleep...
And I had an anxiety attack. I was frozen with fear of today, what it would bring.
Graciously, God helped me realized right then how miserable that feeling is. And He provided the hope that He could remove it. I got out the candles and did my Precepts Bible study - day 3 in Isaiah 6, focusing on Isaiah seeing God and responding to Him.
And I could see, through these circumstances and the momentary re-surrender to Anxiety, and once more God's salvation, that i've been slipping into the bondage of Security - of having funds, family, routine and order. I've stopped being creative and willing to find any way to make things work. In India, I lived with no A/C, and no security outside of Him, and it was one of the best times. And 7 yrs ago, in Texas Children's Hospital, I lived with no knowledge and no control, as my baby was cared for and I learned to be a mom to a baby with a heart defect, and it was the best time.
The anxiety is gone. And the rain has come.... an undeserved gift (aka Grace) of a cooling breeze.
Thank you, Lord - YHWH, Alpha-Omega, Creator and King

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Picking up the pieces from Hurricane Ike

So, Ike came through last night. It was pretty scary. I kept thinking
the wind was a tornado.
At about 9:30p, we pulled 3 twin mattresses into the hall. It had not
rained a drop, and the wind was just starting. Everyone but me fell
asleep, so I got up and watched the storm approach on the news. At
11:30p, our power went out. I went to lay in the dark and stillness of
our hall. About 12a, Joel woke up and started stepping over me, so I
got up and watched the storm with him - up and down with each noise
until Arabella joined us.
During this time, our fence blew down.
Then the Eye passed over @ 4am. It was so calm, everyone on the street
came out to clean up. Then it picked back up. It was louder and
stronger. And it brought down a HUGE tree towering above our garage.
It landed on our back deck and our neighbor's patio roof, and is
laying across our power line.
So, I don't know if we will get power when everyone else does, or if
that tree will cause further delays.

So, today is weird. Quiet - no media running. Hot - no A/C. Aimless -
how do you begin such a big clean up?

Sunday, September 07, 2008

My Palin statement.... If anyone cares

Man, I have seen more political discussions in my community since Palin was nominated as Vice Pres candidate - Christians, families with children with Down syndrome, homeschoolers - than ever before.

A few people have asked my opinion about Palin. So here it is:

I was born into the one-issue conservative Right - pro-life. We marched for life and I believed that no one I knew would be a Democrate!

I birthed and adopted 2 children into the Left. They will rely on good social welfare for their whole life. And my occupation has led me to see that without the Church in their full Biblical role of feeder of the widows and orphans, I need to see a strong Democratic government in place to care for the homeless and forgotten.

But I am still so pro-life there is no party for me.

Enter Sara Palin.
1. I don't think anyone is a saint just for NOT aborting her baby. I think that view is OFFENSIVE and states something in people's hearts that I don't want to know about - that children with Down syndrome are lucky if they get born!
2. I don't know if a politician's children can change the political views of a party. The Republican's assumption that every man can/should care for themselves will not be challenged by a special needs child born into an affluent family. I assume all of Palin's children will have adequate funding.

On the flip side:
I was horrified and my mind sealed SHUT to Obama when I read he fought against saving the life of an out-of-the-womb baby who did not die during an abortion, since this would blur the question of when life begins. If life has not begun after birth, than my children may still be 'not alive'... And that's the dumbest idea I've ever thought!

So, I'm still hoping for a 3-party system, with option for some one to win between the Republican and Democratic platforms. In my dreams, a pro-life, socially liberal Christian who also opposes fighting people trapped in a religion far from God.

By the way, the war is my other political problem:
Don't argue that I have to follow my 'brother' Bush, killing children of Ishmael for oil - my brother is one doing the will of Our Father:

'Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.' Isaiah 1:16b-17

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Camping

Holden and I just finished our first camping trip together. We arrived
@ noon on Monday, and immediately jumped in the Frio for 2+ hour
float.
Holden is an awesome River Rat, swimming in and out of his tube, not
even getting scared when we flipped on the rapids, and acting like a
little motor to pull me and Jessica alone.
Yesterday Holden spent from 10a-5p in the section of river by our
campsite. As we laid on the air mattress for a little rest, he said,
"when are we gonna swim again?"
After I replied, "not for awhile." he laid his head down crashed.

I loved camping with him. We enjoy the same things.

This might have to be our annual Mother-Son trip!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

What do these 3 shows have in common?

1. The Office
2. Lost
3. Heroes

None are on right now.
I love them all.

Next best thing: talking about them!

The Office: I just fell in love with this one over the past month.
Favorite characters: Jim and Pam, although Michael Scott has really grown on me.
I think Michael's personality initially seemed weird, but he turns out
to be much like the social-different men in my life, whom I love ( my
dad, my husband, my brother Tim, Michael Rice).
Then there's Pam. Just an average girl, brought to everyone's
attention when Karen :-( comes into the office. The most normal person
there. I feel like she and I have lots in common. Trying to explore
art in a world of much more artist people, often made to look plain by
other's sophistication. But she's the most sincere.
And Jim. So adorable. Enough said.
Favorite episodes: Season 3 Finale & Season 4 Finale - especially the
Kevin joke told to the new HR lady.

Lost: the first of the 3 to become obsessed with, I must confess that
we would watch 3-6 hrs @ a time. I feel like a sci-fi geek when I
discuss podcasts and theories about it with my hubby and friends. It
still bugs me that all the answers to the mysteries may lie in the
imaginary - I know this is silly and illogical, but I like the show
more if I think it follows the same laws (gravity, space-time, etc) as
my world.... cuz then if my plane crashed, these things could happen
to me.
Favorite character: Sawyer. He's totally grown on me. I have become
more and more suspicious of Jack, the obvious favorite, and I think
Sawyer has made more and more selfless choices.
Biggest question: what's up with Jack's (& Claire's) dad?

Heroes: who doesn't love a superhero?
Favorite characters: Claire-bear and Peter
I love when they do the strings showing how everyone
overlaps/crisscrosses.... Although I don't like the portrayal of the
future.
Returning Sept 22nd!

Me and Holdie

So, Holden and I get to go camping on the Frio River this week
Monday-Thursday. I am so excited for 1-on-1 time with him. Plus I love
tubing!

Going out with a bang

Last night, Arabella graduated from her 6th year @ the Rise School of Houston. The night was so intentionally put-together, and I really enjoyed it.

Arabella's a little bi-polar in performing: she's the queen or she's completely shut down. The Annie video is being ON! Her ballet recital was her being totally OFF (we both knew the ballet dance backwards and forwards).

Last night, she was ON. Her class did an introduction routine, and she said her name and age on cue (although according to her, she's 5). Then they sang "Rise" by the Robbie Seay Band. Arabella started off totally still, but then kicked in with all the signs right on beat.

Then we went to the nearby Marco's for some food. They had a live musician, playing mostly Mexican music. As you can see from the picture, it was better than a playground. That girl and her brothers can cut a rug!

Reflections of God

As you can see, this is a spiritually difficult time for me.
During this time, the person who is ministering to me the most is Angie. I have never met her...probably never will. I read her blog. But just as Let the Nations Be Glad ministered to me on paper, Bring the Rain ministers to me by Blog.

You should read all the posts yourself, but the summary of Angie's year is that in January, an ultrasound reveal so was carrying a baby girl that could not survive after she was born. So, when Audrey Caroline was born on April 7, she only lived a few hours.

Angie is preaching the Gospel through her grief. It's amazing.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Balancing

I am going back and forth on educating Arabella and Holden.
One day I am set on homeschooling, looking forward to the time together, the opportunity to teach them, and uncomplicate our life.
The next day, I think, "who am I kidding!" I'll never be organized enough to teach them. Their lifes will be chaotic.

Last week, I planned to go on Thursday to just talk to my local school (in a district know for excelling in Special Ed) about Arabella. But I knew there were factors they could not guarantee: mainly, how good of an Aide she would have.
Then Wed, her Speech Therapist invite Arabella to join a 3-day per week class with 5 other kids @ her center, to supplement her homeschooling. It sounds like it will offer just what I was looking for at school - a routine, consistent interactions with other kids, and obedience to another teacher.
I am so thankful for this super-affordable option, 1/2-way between homeschool and school. I'll still do the academics, pick the curriculum, but I'll have some time to reorganize between our at-home school days.

So that just leaves Holden. My sweet Holden. I have lots of guilt about last year. I pulled him out of The Rise School for Pre-K, to try the public Montessori magnet in our old school district, Wilson Elementary. It was a fine arts school, so I thought it would be good for him, but the timing was really about checking it out for Arabella for this coming year.
He missed Rise a lot. Then at the end of the 2nd semester, we moved him to Veritas Christian Academy. He wanted to learn about God, we wanted him to be trained in righteousness, and we knew by then that Wilson Elementary was not going to be a good fit for Arabella.
Holden did great @ Veritas. It was a great little school.

But now that we moved, Veritas is not an option. It's in Bellaire....
We are in Deer Park. It has an 8am arrival with $5 tardies.... We would have to leave home @ 7am to be on time.

So, no matter what, Holden's doing something new. And he doesn't even turn 5 until August 23rd.
At the end of the school year, he was excited about homeschooling....
Now he's asking for school. But he's not the Boss, so I have to decide.

Yikes!

Processing

So, we had a 'ministry meeting' last night with some Basilica folks,
to discuss the state of the ministry...
I think it was good for me, if not them. We haven't done one in
awhile, and I dreaded it, because I knew I had a lot of confused
feelings toward our church. But since I started trying to express
them, I think it helped me realize a few things.
1. I wore myself out in the 1st 1.5 yrs of Basilica.
2. I thought I was angry with God... But I have prayed about this a
ton, and never really feel like this description fits.... Now I think
that I feel like I've been a disappointment to Him.
3. I am empty and don't know how to refill.

But a positive thing I realized is that drawing people to Christ is
still my only hope.

I'm having a lot of trouble putting myself out there anymore. It's
been really hard to disciple so many who have walked away from Him,
after they really got serious.

It's hard to be a pastor's wife... It feels like everything anyone
says about Basilica is about you. When I hear someone felt neglected
or left out, I internalize it, and worry about how I should have spent
my time.
I am trying to feel satisfied that I answered each time God led me....
But that is hard.

Monday, May 19, 2008

life is beautiful

How often do you step back and decide how you feel about your life?

I think that I spend a lot of time tweaking my life, knit-picking things I want to improve. Without realizing it, I have not assessed my life, the life of our little family, to decide if I like it or not.

This weekend, Joel, the kids, my mom and I were attending the Clear Lake Down Syndrome support group's spring picnic @ Challenger 7 park. We bumped into my ex-boyfriend, Gabe, swinging his 3-yr old daughter just a few swings over from my Bella.
I haven't seen Gabe since 4-weeks after starting to date Joel. I saw him on the road, and we said hello. That was 8 yrs ago.

What I realized standing there, surrounded by my little troupe and his', is that my life is beautiful.
  • I am so proud of my husband, that he's a churchplanter, a pastor, an entreprenuir, and a great dad.

  • My kids are so stinking cute and awesome.

  • God has assembled my dream life, and I love it!


Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Reformed Doctrine Of Predestination

(Why I am posting this article? In 2004, when I went through the new members class at Kaleo, I first heard in detail the 5 points of Calvinism (this is kinda odd considering that I grew up PCA)... and was shocked by the 5th point - know as limited atonement. When we went to pick up the kids at my mom and dad's that evening, I mentioned this to my dad, and he gave me this article. It is amazing and clear.)

by Loraine Boettner

Chapter XII

Limited Atonement

1. Statement of the Doctrine. 2. The Infinite Value of Christ's Atonement. 3. The Atonement is Limited in Purpose and Application. 4. Christ's Work as a Perfect Fulfillment of the Law. 5. A Ransom. 6. The Divine Purpose in Christ's Sacrifice. 7. The Exclusion of the Non-Elect. 8. The Argument from the Foreknowledge of God. 9. Certain Benefits Which Extend to Mankind In General.

1. STATEMENT OF THE DOCTRINE

The question which we are to discuss under the subject of "Limited Atonement" is, Did Christ offer up Himself a sacrifice for the whole human race, for every individual without distinction or exception; or did His death have special reference to the elect? In other words, was the sacrifice of Christ merely intended to make the salvation of all men possible, or was it intended to render certain the salvation of those who had been given to Him by the Father? Arminians hold that Christ died for all men alike, while Calvinists hold that in the intention and secret plan of God Christ died for the elect only, and that His death had only an incidental reference to others in so far as they are partakers of common grace. The meaning might be brought out more clearly if we used the phrase "Limited Redemption" rather than "Limited Atonement." The Atonement is, of course, strictly an infinite transaction; the limitation comes in, theologically, in the application of the benefits of the atonement, that is in redemption. But since the phrase "Limited Atonement" has become well established in theological usage and its meaning is well known we shall continue to use it.

Concerning this doctrine the Westminster Confession says: ". . . Wherefore they who are elected being fallen in Adam, are redeemed in Christ, are effectually called unto faith in Christ by His Spirit working in due season; are justified, adopted, sanctified, and kept by His power through faith unto salvation. Neither are any other redeemed by Christ, effectually called, justified, adopted, sanctified, and saved, but the elect only." [Ch. III, Sec. 4.]

It will be seen at once that this doctrine necessarily follows from the doctrine of election. If from eternity God has planned to save one portion of the human race and not another, it seems to be a contradiction to say that His work has equal reference to both portions, or that He sent His Son to die for those whom He had predetermined not to save, as truly as, and in the same sense that He was sent to die for those whom He had chosen for salvation. These two doctrines must stand or fall together. We cannot logically accept one and reject the other. If God has elected some and not others to eternal life, then plainly the primary purpose of Christ's work was to redeem the elect.

2. THE INFINITE VALUE OF CHRIST'S ATONEMENT

This doctrine does not mean that any limit can be set to the value or power of the atonement which Christ made. The value of the atonement depends upon, and is measured by, the dignity of the person making it; and since Christ suffered as a Divine-human person the value of His suffering was infinite. The Scripture writers tell us plainly that the "Lord of glory" was crucified, 1 Cor. 2:8; that wicked men "killed the Prince of life," Acts 3:15; and that God "purchased" the Church "with His own blood," Acts 20:28. The atonement, therefore, was infinitely meritorious and might have saved every member of the human race had that been God's plan. It was limited only in the sense that it was intended for, and is applied to, particular persons; namely for those who are actually saved.

Some misunderstanding occasionally arises here because of a false assumption that Calvinists teach that Christ suffered so much for one soul, and so much for another, and that He would have suffered more if more were to have been saved. We believe, however, that even if many fewer of the human race were to have been pardoned and saved, an atonement of infinite value would have been necessary in order to have secured for them these blessings; and though many more, or even all men were to have been pardoned and saved, the sacrifice of Christ would have been amply sufficient as the ground or basis of their salvation. Just as it is necessary for the sun to give off as much heat if only one plant is to grow upon the earth as if the earth is to be covered with vegetation, so it was necessary for Christ to suffer as much if only one soul was to be saved as if a large number or even all mankind were to be saved. Since the sinner had offended against a Person of infinite dignity, and had been sentenced to suffer eternally, nothing but a sacrifice of infinite value could atone for him. No one assumes that since the sin of Adam was the ground for the condemnation of the race, he sinned so much for one man and much for another and would have sinned more if there were to have been more sinners. Why then should they make the assumption in regard to the suffering of Christ?

3. THE ATONEMENT IS LIMITED IN PURPOSE AND APPLICATION

While the value of the atonement was sufficient to save all mankind, it was efficient to save only the elect. It is indifferently well adapted to the salvation of one man to that of another, thus making the salvation of every man objectively possible; yet because of subjective difficulties, arising on account of the sinners own inability either to see or appreciate the things of God, only those are saved who are regenerated and sanctified by the Holy Spirit. The reason why God does not apply this grace to all men has not been fully revealed.

When the atonement is made universal its inherent value is destroyed. If it is applied to all men, and if some are lost, the conclusion is that it makes salvation objectively possible for all but that it does not actually save anybody. According to the Arminian theory the atonement has simply made it possible for men to co-operate with divine grace and thus save mselves if they will. But tell us of one cured of disease and yet dying of cancer, and the story will be equally luminous with that of one eased of sin and yet perishing through unbelief. The nature of the atonement settles its extent. If it merely made salvation possible, it applied to all men. If it effectively secured salvation, it had reference only the elect. As Dr. Warfield says, "The things we have to choose between are an atonement of high value, or an atonement of wide extension. The two cannot go together." The work of Christ can be universalized only by evaporating its substance.

Let there be no misunderstanding at this point. The Arminian limits the atonement as certainly as does the Calvinist. The Calvinist limits the extent of it in that he says it does not apply to all persons (although as has already been shown, he believes that it is efficacious for the salvation of the large proportion of the human race); while the Arminian limits the power of it, for he says that in itself it does not actually save anybody. The Calvinist limits it quantitatively, but not qualitatively; the Arminian limits it qualitatively, but not quantitatively. For the Calvinist it is like a narrow bridge which goes all the way across the stream; for the Arminian it is like a great wide bridge which goes only half-way across. As a matter of fact, the Arminian places more severe limitations on the work of Christ than does the Calvinist.

4. CHRIST'S WORK AS A PERFECT FULFILLMENT OF THE LAW

If the benefits of the atonement are universal and unlimited, it must have been what the Arminians represent it to have been merely a sacrifice to t out the curse which rested upon the race through the fall in Adam, a mere substitute for the execution of the law which God in His sovereignty saw fit to accept in lieu of what the sinner was bound to render, and not a perfect satisfaction which fulfilled the demands of justice. It would mean that God no longer demands perfect obedience as He did of Adam, but that He now offers salvation on lower term. God, then, would remove legal obstacles and would accept such faith and evangelical obedience as the person with a graciously restored ability could render if he chose, the Holy Spirit of course aiding in a general way. Thus grace would be extended in that God offers an easier way of salvation He accepts fifty cents on the dollar, so to speak, since the crippled sinner can pay no more.

On the other hand Calvinists hold that the law of perfect obedience which was originally given to Adam was "permanent, that God has never done anything which would convey the impression that the law was too rigid in its requirements, or too severe in its penalty, or that it stood in need either of abrogation or of derogation. Divine justice demands that the sinner shall be punished, either in himself or in his substitute. We hold that Christ acted in a strictly substitutionary way for His people, that He made a full satisfaction for their sins, thus blotting out the curse from Adam and all their temporal sins; and that by His sinless life He perfectly kept for them the law which Adam had broken, thus earning for His people the reward of eternal life. We believe that the requirement for salvation now as originally is perfect obedience, that the merits of Christ are imputed to His people as the only basis of their salvation, and that they enter heaven clothed only with the cloak of His perfect righteousness and utterly destitute of any merit properly their own. Thus grace, pure grace, is extended not in lowering the requirements for salvation but in the substitution of Christ for His people. He took their place before the law and did for them what they could not do for themselves. This Calvinistic principle is fitted in every way to impress upon us the absolute perfection and unchangeable obligation of the law which was originally given to Adam. It is not relaxed or set aside, but is fittingly honored so that its excellence is shown. In behalf of those who are saved, for whom Christ acted, and in behalf of those who are subjected to everlasting punishment, the law in its majesty is enforced and executed.

If the Arminian theory were true it would follow that millions of those for whom Christ died are finally lost, and that salvation is thus never applied to many of those for whom it was earned. What benefits, for instance, can we point to in the lives of the heathens and say that they have received them from the atonement? It would also follow that God's plans many times have been thwarted and defeated by His creatures and that while He may do according to His will in the armies of heaven, He does not do so among the inhabitants of the earth.

"The sin of Adam," says Charles Hodge, "did not make the condemnation of all men merely possible; it was the ground of their actual condemnation. So the righteousness of Christ did not make the salvation of men merely possible, it secured the actual salvation of those for whom He wrought."

The great Baptist preacher Charles H. Spurgeon said: "If Christ has died for you, you can never be lost. God will not punish twice for one thing. If God punished Christ for your sins He will not punish you. 'Payment God's justice cannot twice demand; first, at the bleeding Saviour's hand, and then again at mine.' How can God be just if he punished Christ, the substitute, and then man himself afterwards?"

5. A RANSOM

Christ is said to have been a ransom for his people "The Son of man came not to be ministered unto but to minister, and to give His life a ransom for many," Matthew 20:28. Notice, this verse does not say that He gave His life a ransom for all, but for many. The nature of a ransom is such that when paid and accepted it automatically frees the persons for whom it was intended. Otherwise it would not be a true ransom. Justice demands that those for whom it is paid shall be freed from any further obligation. If the suffering and death of Christ was a ransom for all men rather than for the elect only, then the merits of His work must be communicated to all alike and the penalty of eternal punishment cannot be justly inflicted on any. God would be unjust if He demanded this extreme penalty twice over, first from the substitute and then from the persons themselves. The conclusion then is that the atonement of Christ does not extend to all men but that it is limited to those for whom He stood surety; that is, to those who compose His true Church.

6. THE DIVINE PURPOSE IN CHRIST'S SACRIFICE

If Christ's death was intended to save all men, then we must say that God was either unable or unwilling to carry out His plans. But since the work of God is always efficient, those for whom atonement was made and those who are actually saved must be the same people. Arminians suppose that the purposes of God are mutable, and that His purposes may fail. In saying that He sent His Son to redeem all men, but that after seeing that such a plan could not be carried out He "elected" those whom He foresaw would have faith and repent, they represent Him as willing what never takes place, as suspending His purposes and plans upon the volitions and actions of creatures who are totally dependent on Him. No rational being who has the wisdom and power to carry out his plans intends what he never accomplishes or adopts plans for an end which is never attained. Much less would God, whose wisdom and power are infinite, work in this manner. We may rest assured that if some men are lost God never purposed their salvation, and never devised and put into operation means designed to accomplish that end.

Jesus Himself limited the purpose of His death when He said, "I lay down my life for the sheep." If, therefore, He laid down His life for the sheep, the atoning character of His work was not universal. On another occasion He said to the Pharisees, "Ye are not my sheep;" and again, "Ye are of your father the Devil." Will anyone maintain that He laid down His life for these, seeing that He so pointedly excludes them? The angel which appeared to Joseph told him that Mary's son was to be called JESUS, because His mission in the world was to save His people from their sins. He then came not merely to make salvation possible but actually to save His people; and what He came to do we may confidently expect Him to have accomplished.

Since the work of God is never in vain, those who are chosen by the Father, those who are redeemed by the Son, and those who are sanctified by the Holy Spirit, or in other words, election, redemption and sanctification, must include the same persons. The Arminian doctrine of a universal atonement makes these unequal and thereby destroys the perfect harmony within the Trinity. Universal redemption means universal salvation.

Christ declared that the elect and the redeemed were the same people when in the intercessory prayer He said. "Thine they were, and thou gavest them to me," and "I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for those whom thou hast given me; for they are thine: and all things that are mine are thine, and thine are mine; and I am glorified in them," John 17:6, 9, 10. And again, "I am the good shepherd; and I know my own, and mine own know me, even as the Father knoweth me, and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep," John 10:14, 15. The same teaching is found when we are told to "feed the Church of the Lord which He purchased with His own blood," Acts 20:28. We are told that "Christ loved the Church, and gave Himself for it," Ephesians 5:25; and that He laid down His life for His friends, John 15:13. Christ died for such as were Paul and John, not for such as were Pharaoh and Judas, who were" goats and not sheep. We cannot say that His death was intended for all unless we say that Pharaoh, Judas, etc., were of the sheep, friends, and Church of Christ.

Furthermore, when it is said that Christ gave His life for His Church, or for His people, we find it impossible to believe that He gave Himself as much for reprobates as for those whom He intended to save. Mankind is divided into two classes and what is distinctly affirmed of one is impliedly denied of the other. In each case something is said of those who belong to one group which is not true of those who belong to the other. When it is said that a man labors and sacrifices health and strength for his children, it is thereby denied that the motive which controls him is mere philanthropy, or that the design he has in view is the good of society. And when it is said that Christ died for His people it is denied that He died equally for all men.

7. THE EXCLUSION OF THE NON-ELECT

It was not, then, a general and indiscriminate love of which all men were equally the objects, but a peculiar, mysterious, infinite love for His elect, which caused God to send His Son into the world to suffer and die. Any theory which denies this great and precious truth, and which would explain away this love as merely indiscriminate benevolence or philanthropy which had all men for its objects, many of whom are allowed to perish, must be un-Scriptural. Christ died not for an unorderly mass, but for His people, His bride, His Church.

A farmer prizes his field. But no one supposes that he cares equally for every plant that grows there, for the "tares" as well as the "wheat." God's field is the world, Matthew 13:38, and he loves it with an exclusive eye to its "good seed," the children of the kingdom, and not the children of the wicked one. It is not the whole of mankind that is equally loved of God and promiscuously redeemed by Christ. God is not necessarily communicative of His goodness, as the sun of its light, or a tree of its cooling shade, which does not choose its objects, but serves all indifferently without variation or distinction. This would be to make God of no more understanding than the sun, which shines not where it pleases, but where it must. He is an understanding person, and has a sovereign right to choose His own objects.

In Genesis we read that God "put enmity" between the seed of the woman and the seed of the serpent. Now who were meant by the seed of the woman and the seed of the serpent? On first thought we might suppose that the seed of the woman meant the entire human race descended from Eve. But in Galatians 3:16 Paul uses this term "seed," and applies it to Christ as an individual. "He saith not, And to seeds, as of many; but as of one, And to thy seed, which is Christ." On further investigation we also find that the seed of the serpent means not literal descendants of the Devil, but those non-elect members of the human race, who partake of his sinful nature. Jesus said of His enemies, "Ye are of your father, the Devil; and the lusts of your father it is your will to do," John 8:44. Paul denounced Elymas the sorcerer as a son of the Devil and an enemy of all righteousness. Judas is even called a devil, John 6:70. So the seed of the woman and the seed of the serpent are each a part of the human race. In other parts of the Scriptures we find that Christ and His people are "one," that He dwells in them and is united with them as the vine and the branches are united. And since at the very beginning God "put enmity" between these two groups, it is plain that He never loved all alike, nor intended to redeem all alike. Universal redemption and God's sentence on the serpent can never go together.

There is also a parallel to be noticed between the high priest of ancient Israel and Christ who is our high priest; for the former, we are told, was a type of the latter. On the great day of atonement the high priest offered sacrifices for the sins of the twelve tribes of Israel. He interceded for them and for them only. Likewise, Christ prayed not for the world but for His people. The intercession of the high priest secured for the Israelites blessings from which all other peoples were excluded; and the intercession of Christ, which also is limited but of a much higher order, shall certainly be efficacious in the highest sense, for Him the Father heard always. Furthermore, it is not necessary that God's mercy shall extend to all men without exception before it can be truly and properly called infinite; for all men taken together would not constitute a multitude strictly and properly infinite. The Scriptures plainly tell us that the Devil and the fallen angels are left outside of His benevolent purposes. But His mercy is infinite in that it rescues the great multitude of His elect from indescribable and eternal sin and misery to indescribable and eternal blessedness.

While the Arminians hold that Christ died equally for all men and that He obtained sufficient grace to enable all men to repent, believe, and persevere, if they win only co-operate with it, they also hold that those who refuse to co-operate shall on that account and through all eternity be punished far more severely than if Christ had never died for them at all. We see that so far in the history of the human race the large proportion of the adult population have failed to co-operate and have thus been allowed to bring upon themselves greater misery than if Christ had never come. Surely a view which permits God's work of redemption to issue in such failure, and which sheds so little glory on the atonement of Christ, cannot be true. Vastly more of God's love and mercy for His people is seen in the Calvinistic doctrines of unconditional election and limited atonement than is seen in the Arminian doctrine of conditional election and unlimited atonement.

8. THE ARGUMENT FROM THE FOREKNOWLEDGE OF GOD

The argument from the foreknowledge of God is of itself sufficient to prove this doctrine. Is not God's mind infinite? Are not His perceptions perfect? Who can believe that He, like a feeble mortal, would "shoot at the convoy without perceiving the individual birds?" Since He knew beforehand who they were that would be saved and the more evangelical Arminians admit that God does have exact foreknowledge of all events He would not have sent Christ intending to save those who he positively foreknew would be lost. For, as Calvin remarks, "Where would have been the consistency of Gods calling to Himself such as He knows will never come?" If a man knows that in an adjoining room there are ten oranges, seven of which are good and three of which are rotten, he does not go into the room expecting to get ten good ones. Or if it is foreknown that out of a group of fifty men to whom invitations to a banquet might be sent a certain ten will not come, the host does not send out invitations expecting those ten as well as the others to accept. They do but deceive themselves who, admitting God's foreknowledge, say that Christ died for all men; for what is that but to attribute folly to Him whose ways are perfect? To represent God as earnestly striving to do what He knows He will not do is to represent Him as acting foolishly.

9. CERTAIN BENEFITS WHICH EXTEND TO MANKIND IN GENERAL

In conclusion let it be said that Calvinists do not deny that mankind in general receive some important benefits from Christ's atonement. Calvinists admit that it arrests the penalty which would have been inflicted upon the whole race because of Adam's sin; that it forms a basis for the preaching of the Gospel and thus introduces many uplifting moral influences into the world and restrains many evil influences. Paul could say to the heathen people of Lystra that God "left not Himself without witness, in that He did good and gave you from heaven rains and fruitful seasons, filling your hearts with food and gladness," Acts 14:17. God makes His sun to shine on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust. Many temporal blessings are thus secured for all men, although these fall short of being sufficient to insure salvation.

Cunningham has stated the belief of Calvinists very clearly in the following paragraph: - "It is not denied by the advocates of particular redemption, or of a limited atonement, that mankind in general, even those who ultimately perish, do derive some advantages or benefits from Christ's death; and no position they hold requires them to deny this. They believe that important benefits have accrued to the whole human race from the death of Christ, and that in these benefits those who are finally impenitent and unbelieving partake. What they deny is, that Christ intended to procure, or did procure, for all men these blessings which are the proper and peculiar fruits of His death, in its specific character as an atonement, that He procured or purchased redemption that in, pardon and reconciliation for all men. Many blessings flow to mankind at large from the death of Christ, collaterally and incidentally, in consequence of the relation in which men, viewed collectively, stand to each other. All these benefits were of course foreseen by God, when He resolved to send His Son into the world; they were contemplated or designed by Him, as what men should receive and enjoy. They are to be regarded and received as bestowed by Him, and as thus unfolding His glory, indicating His character, and actually accomplishing His purposes; and they are to be viewed as coming to men through the channel of Christ's mediation, of His suffering and death." [Historical Theology, II, p. 333.]

There is, then, a certain sense in which Christ died for all men, and we do not reply to the Arminian tenet with an unqualified negative. But what we do maintain is that the death of Christ had special reference to the elect in that it was effectual for their salvation, and that the effects which are produced in others are only incidental to this one great purpose.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Retirement

Now that I'm sure no one is reading this thing, I can start expressing my opinions...

I'm really opposed to retirement in the Kingdom of God. It goes in complete opposition to God's command NOT to worry about tomorrow.

Luke 12:22-28
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!


Here's the discussion I had tonight -
Investment-minded Christian: "Invest money now. Let it accrue interest. Then use it for the kingdom later."
Problem: I am not promised there is tomorrow.
Investment-minded Christian: "But you could spend the interest, and multiply the amount you can do with the money."
Problem: God has work to be done NOW. For example, say I have $1,000, which over the next 30 years I could invest and grow to $10,000. Investment logic says I can do 10x as many projects.
Here are the errors I find in that:
1. Growth of the investment is dependent on the market. Interest money has to come from somewhere, so MY $10,000 is coming from SOMEONE ELSE'S SLAVERY TO DEBT. Money is not unlimited - we can't all earn enormous interest without SOMEONE suffering.
2. God is in charge of my TODAY. I am not even guaranteed a tomorrow. Today, there are people who will die of malnutrition, curable diseases without medicine, and lack of clean water.

So, here's my equation with guarantee of return:
$1,000 - invested in God now = may be used by Him to bring water to a whole village (100 lives), maybe used to bring missionaries to teach children (30 children who can now have a trade)
So, if a life is even worth as little as $1,000... I've way exceeded my "possible interest" - and this will happen whether I live or die.

And here's the other benefit: I am kept in reliance on God for my daily bread, keeping me humble and submitted.

Think about it.

Other topics related to this - brief comments:
Debt - I do believe we need to live within our means - I have HATED being a slave to creditors. I can't wait to be single in my allegiance
Insurance - I do think insurance to care for you dependents is a good place to spend money, so they will be debt free upon your death.

Homeschooling

God has laid it on my heart to homeschool Arabella and Holden next year.
It's kinda weird because, when I felt like homeschooling might be my only option for Holden (at Christmas time), I didn't want to do it. Then we found Veritas Christian Academy for Holden, and I started talking with them about Arabella attending there.
I remember feeling like I'd be devastated if Veritas didn't let Arabella attend there.
Then Arabella started her 3 visitation days at Veritas. And I began to realize that I wanted the privilege I was trying to convince them they wanted - to teach my angel. And I realized that I am looking forward to spending lots of time with Bella as best girls in the post-school years... And I don't want to get there and find her life has been wasted and she has been hurt.
Then I started getting excited. I almost didn't send her to her 3rd visit to Veritas, except that I hadn't worked out logistics.
So when last Monday Veritas told me they did not think they are a good fit for Arabella, I said, "I agree!"

SIMPLIFY
I've been wanting to simplify my life for awhile, mainly, so I can be better at the important things:
  • Being Joel's wife
  • training my children
  • ministering through Basilica

While I think I will be busy homeschooling, I will not be fitting training the children into the last 3, tired, hours of the day.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Down Syndrome info clarification: Obstetrician Petition

So, I'm co-chair for the Outreach committee for the Greater Clear Lake Families Exploring Down Syndrome... Which means developing/implimenting a plan to get info to Ob/Gyn's.
Instead of describing the problem necessitating this, please read the statement on this petition and sign it!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Seriously famous!

Just found this one today!

Educating an angel

So, for those of you who don't have experience with children with disabilities, education is a huge source of stress for parents.
Arabella has been at The Rise School for 6 years - since she was 1 yr old. And I really haven't had to put energy into planning or worrying about curriculum. Rise is for kids with Down syndrome - and they know way more than I do - plus, they love her too.

But in July, Arabella will be done there. So, I have had alot of anxiety over the next place for her to learn. During the month of Dec 2007, I was pretty sure I couldn't find a place I approved of, and I would have to quit work and homeschool - not really ideal for socialization, but a guarantee that she would be loved all day.
Then the day before the Christmas holidays, we found this amazing Christian school for Holden, called Veritas Christian Academy, where Ms. Streger, Bill's mom teaches Pre-K. It fits us so well - small school, missional values... we love it.
And from our first visit, they didn't run from the possibility of discussing Arabella coming there next year.

So, I've had one meeting with the headmaster - very good.
Yesterday, Arabella's Rise School teacher and I had a meeting with the kindergarten teacher at Veritas. It went well. She was open and honest about their apprehensions - mainly, can they meet Arabella's educational needs correctly?

But these meetings always make me want to cry...
Where else in life do you sit down to talk about the things about you that are unfamiliar and awkward to someone else? It's just a weird situation.

More fame for my angel

I didn't even know about this, but Arabella is the only kid featured on the Texas Children's Down Syndrome clinic website.



And I got to write our story for the DSAH (Down Syndrome Association of Houston) newsletter:

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