Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Growth

I would like to get back to why I wanted this blog, to honestly share what I am learning, and hear from my friends...

For about 2 months, I have been forced to view God in a whole new light. Starting with the Kaleo retreat focused on PRAYER, I began to realize for the first time what an amazing thing it is that God, who created all, is in all, and holds all things in His hand, will allow me to communicate with Him.
Then, I started a Bible study with Kelly B. on Leviticus, which has continued to illuminate this for me.

I am realizing that most of my walk with God (going on 9 years now), has been with shallow faith. I pray safe and predictable prayers that I am fairly certain I know the answer to before speaking them. And I reflect God to others in a dishonoring way.
Most of the time, I "respect" other's readiness to hear about God, feel like I have be intellectually prepared for sharing Him, and tiptoe around sin as if it is not that bad.

THIS IS WRONG.

In looking at the sacrificial system set up by God in Leviticus, I don't see a God who lets people come to Him on their terms. His system was precise, and intentional, and did not leave itself up for interpretation. In fact, in Lev 10, Aaron's sons offered "strange fire" to God, and were killed instantly. Then, in I Sam 2:11-3:11, Eli's sons defile the temple, are killed, and the priesthood is removed from their family. In I Sam 14:26, Saul's kingship is removed since he performed the sacrifices in a different way than God prescribed.

My relationship with God is often guided by a picture in my head. I often pray, picturing where in the battle of the Lord I see someone.

Here is the newest picture.
God as KING. And like the king in Esther, anyone who enters His presence is placing their life in His hands.
Us as SERVANTS/SLAVES, someone whose life has been rescued from the enemy land. I converse with Him by using the name of His son to gain entrance into the throne-room without being judged for my own work for the enemy.
Life as WORK FOR THE LORD.... follow me here.
- If I work for Him, I worry the most if He is satisfied by how my day is spent.
- If I work for Him, I hold the others I have seen come into His presence in the name of the Lord to a high standard.
- Their sin is offensive to the God I serve... it is not a joke, a phase. It is deadly. A holy God must be approach with respect for WHO He is.
- If I work for Him, I will trust Him for the words in an uncomfortable setting, because my rescue is a constant reminder that they need to be rescued, too.

Maybe you got this along time ago... not me. I think I was more keen on "Jesus is a good boyfriend" than GOD IS ALMIGHTY, ALL-POWERFUL, COMPLETELY JUST IN JUDGING MY SIN, COMPLETELY LOVE IN SENDING JESUS, FULLY WORTHY OF ALL HONOR AND PRAISE.

I barely know where to begin with this type of living. It has already put me in 2 uncomfortable situations, and I don't think that is the end.

Thanks for getting this started, Jake.

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

Thank you so much for sharing this with everyone! It is a wonderful post for many reasons- it is true, honest, expressive, well put, and challenging.

Like you and Jessica these are things I've been thinking about recently for the first time as well. It is hard to know what this ends up looking like....especially since my inclination is to believe it will look so drastically different from how I've been living and how the majority of those around me live that is is going to be terrifying. Probably so much the better though. Maybe you and I can get together for coffe sometime and chat? I'd love to hear from you more on this.