Growth

I would like to get back to why I wanted this blog, to honestly share what I am learning, and hear from my friends...

For about 2 months, I have been forced to view God in a whole new light. Starting with the Kaleo retreat focused on PRAYER, I began to realize for the first time what an amazing thing it is that God, who created all, is in all, and holds all things in His hand, will allow me to communicate with Him.
Then, I started a Bible study with Kelly B. on Leviticus, which has continued to illuminate this for me.

I am realizing that most of my walk with God (going on 9 years now), has been with shallow faith. I pray safe and predictable prayers that I am fairly certain I know the answer to before speaking them. And I reflect God to others in a dishonoring way.
Most of the time, I "respect" other's readiness to hear about God, feel like I have be intellectually prepared for sharing Him, and tiptoe around sin as if it is not that bad.

THIS IS WRONG.

In looking at the sacrificial system set up by God in Leviticus, I don't see a God who lets people come to Him on their terms. His system was precise, and intentional, and did not leave itself up for interpretation. In fact, in Lev 10, Aaron's sons offered "strange fire" to God, and were killed instantly. Then, in I Sam 2:11-3:11, Eli's sons defile the temple, are killed, and the priesthood is removed from their family. In I Sam 14:26, Saul's kingship is removed since he performed the sacrifices in a different way than God prescribed.

My relationship with God is often guided by a picture in my head. I often pray, picturing where in the battle of the Lord I see someone.

Here is the newest picture.

God as KING. And like the king in Esther, anyone who enters His presence is placing their life in His hands.
Us as SERVANTS/SLAVES, someone whose life has been rescued from the enemy land. I converse with Him by using the name of His son to gain entrance into the throne-room without being judged for my own work for the enemy.
Life as WORK FOR THE LORD.... follow me here.
- If I work for Him, I worry the most if He is satisfied by how my day is spent.
- If I work for Him, I hold the others I have seen come into His presence in the name of the Lord to a high standard.
- Their sin is offensive to the God I serve... it is not a joke, a phase. It is deadly. A holy God must be approach with respect for WHO He is.
- If I work for Him, I will trust Him for the words in an uncomfortable setting, because my rescue is a constant reminder that they need to be rescued, too.

Maybe you got this along time ago... not me. I think I was more keen on "Jesus is a good boyfriend" than GOD IS ALMIGHTY, ALL-POWERFUL, COMPLETELY JUST IN JUDGING MY SIN, COMPLETELY LOVE IN SENDING JESUS, FULLY WORTHY OF ALL HONOR AND PRAISE.

I barely know where to begin with this type of living. It has already put me in 2 uncomfortable situations, and I don't think that is the end.

Thanks for getting this started, Jake.

My "pregnancy" with Darin

Praise the LORD!
Today was a beautiful God-filled day.

The title may confuse you, but this week, I have know of and/or been with Darin Michael for 40 weeks (which for those of you who haven't been pregnant, is the length of a pregnancy).
And this week, the labor pains of his birth into our family began...
Labor with adoption is unique... first they have to go to court to terminate the rights of the biological parents, then they have to finalize the adoption into your family.

On Wednesday at 2:30pm, our social worker from the adoption agency called. For nine months, they had been unable to contact his biological father. And now, after being served the papers for termination of parental rights, he had contacted his "ad liem" lawyer, to question the paternity.
The lawyer contact New Life, and inquired about Darin. After our social worker emphasized the medical needs of Darin, the lawyer called back to let her know that his dad would come to court on Friday (TODAY) to sign away his rights.

The past 2 days have been very hard for Joel and I. We had know way to know the motivations or ideas behind his dad coming to court. And we felt like we were forced to walk into a potential miscarriage.

I prayed so much through Thursday... that God would confirm the placement of Darin in our life, that I would respond in a God honoring way to all possible outcomes, that my husband would not do anything illegal (like leave the country with Darin) JUST JOKING!, and that Darin would have the best situation to grow up in possible.

At 8:30am, Joel, Darin, and I went to the Fort Bend County Courthouse. We found our way to the 2nd floor, where we met the New Life lawyer. He examined the docket, and we all headed down to the 1st floor. Right away, I spotted a man fitting the description that Lonnie (Darin's tummy mama) had given me of Zeke. I told the lawyer, and he approached him. After a brief exchange, the lawyer introduced us.
Immediately, there was peace.
After a hug (from me) and a handshake (from Joel), we sat down, where Zeke proceeded to express his confidence in signing the baby over to our care. We spent the next 30 minutes getting acquainted. About that time, the social worker from New Life finally found us (she had been waiting on the 2nd floor) and was SHOCKED to see the connection that had been made. Darin was sitting in Zeke's lap, and we were all just talking.
After that, the lawyers milled around and completed the paperwork with Zeke, and we discussed the future.

God's provision is perfect. Now we know that Darin has 3 dads - the One in Heaven, the one at my house, and the one we met today.
Who's luckier than that!?