Saturday, September 20, 2008

Crisis brings community

Since my 3 months in Rajasthan, India in 1999, there have been cultural elements I have ached for.
I have tried to articulate it many ways, from talking about living in
community-house-sharing, to trying to integrate a community meal into
Basilica.
During this recovery week post-Ike, I have had this ache 'satisfied'.... or pacified. Without a slam-packed schedule, unlimited food resources, and media, and WITH people revealing their needs to be met, I have seen lots of serious community going on.
It felt the most India-like for me at my parents' house:
- To begin with, their neighbors split their generator energy with 2 additional houses to keep all refrigerators running, instead of running more of their own stuff.
- Then as my parents' deep freeze thawed, each evening mom would set up a backporch potluck for the neighbors.
- Several days in, my Mimi came to stay there. Seeing Arabella chatter with her through the day reminded me of having my Indian Mama around Mon Singh and Anita's house.

I definitely think that I feel less alone each time a crisis comes and community helps meet the needs.

I wonder how much of this I missed out on from 2001-2004 by living on credit so that no one would know we were so desperately in need -$40,000 worth of it.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Awesome strategy

So, Joel mentioned an awesome 'problem' according to Pro-choicers.
Apparently, they (Pro Choice) are upset with the public's positive response to Sarah Palin's daughter, Piper, licking her hand and smoothing her new brother (with Down syndrome)'s hair during her mom's speech. They are afraid that this families joy at having this son, show by Piper's cuteness I guess, will prevent mothers pregnant with babies with Down syndrome from aborting.

Okay, I had no idea how flimsy their case was! If I can just convince people that Arabella and Darin bring joy, no more babies will be aborted.

This is awesome for me! Cuz I have been 'accused' before of making it sound like having a kid with Down syndrome is the next best thing after sliced bread! My accuser thought I did not acknowledge the difficulties....
When you are waiting your whole life to get married..... Do you talk about fighting and divorce, or just dream of honeymoons, sex and best friendship?
When you are talking about having kids... Do you talk about rebellious teens, broken arms, learning to turn an unruly preschooler into a functional adult, or just savor snuggles, hugs, teaching?
When you plan a vacation.... Do you stay home because it might be a long flight there, airplane food might be mediocre?

My kids are the best, and I hope our joy can save some babies lives!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Old gods

Before I was a Christian, from 1995-1997, I was controlled by anxiety.
I fought to control the people around me so they would not hurt me, and when that didn't work (it rarely does), I would be paralyzed by fear.
In the summer of 1997, I was healed from anxiety and released from taking Buspar by the Lord. This remains my main area of attack by the Enemy. I'm not sure if this is a family strong hold, or a female place of vulnerability, but I constantly pray against it for myself, my
girlfriends and my mom.

Yesterday, it slipped in and grabbed me again. I think something like a hurricane almost comes with 'permission' to worry and obsess. I heard it in the faithless statements from the news and the people around me Thursday as Ike approached. And I climbed on board. It continued in
the midst of the storm with sleepless, paralyzing fear of a tornado.
But it didn't leave with Ike. I had opened the door, and my former god, Anxiety, was happy to stay awhile. As yesterday progressed, I would get hot from no A/C and become unable to parent, to plan for the remainder of the day, figure out how to prepare for the future. When we returned to our hot house last night, I was exhausted and ready to go in debt for place to go wait for power. I could not imagine today in this messy life.
This morning, I woke up @ 4:15am. I was smoking hot but rested. I called Centerpoint to report our downed power line. Then I started looking for a cool place to go back to sleep...
And I had an anxiety attack. I was frozen with fear of today, what it would bring.
Graciously, God helped me realized right then how miserable that feeling is. And He provided the hope that He could remove it. I got out the candles and did my Precepts Bible study - day 3 in Isaiah 6, focusing on Isaiah seeing God and responding to Him.
And I could see, through these circumstances and the momentary re-surrender to Anxiety, and once more God's salvation, that i've been slipping into the bondage of Security - of having funds, family, routine and order. I've stopped being creative and willing to find any way to make things work. In India, I lived with no A/C, and no security outside of Him, and it was one of the best times. And 7 yrs ago, in Texas Children's Hospital, I lived with no knowledge and no control, as my baby was cared for and I learned to be a mom to a baby with a heart defect, and it was the best time.
The anxiety is gone. And the rain has come.... an undeserved gift (aka Grace) of a cooling breeze.
Thank you, Lord - YHWH, Alpha-Omega, Creator and King

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Picking up the pieces from Hurricane Ike

So, Ike came through last night. It was pretty scary. I kept thinking
the wind was a tornado.
At about 9:30p, we pulled 3 twin mattresses into the hall. It had not
rained a drop, and the wind was just starting. Everyone but me fell
asleep, so I got up and watched the storm approach on the news. At
11:30p, our power went out. I went to lay in the dark and stillness of
our hall. About 12a, Joel woke up and started stepping over me, so I
got up and watched the storm with him - up and down with each noise
until Arabella joined us.
During this time, our fence blew down.
Then the Eye passed over @ 4am. It was so calm, everyone on the street
came out to clean up. Then it picked back up. It was louder and
stronger. And it brought down a HUGE tree towering above our garage.
It landed on our back deck and our neighbor's patio roof, and is
laying across our power line.
So, I don't know if we will get power when everyone else does, or if
that tree will cause further delays.

So, today is weird. Quiet - no media running. Hot - no A/C. Aimless -
how do you begin such a big clean up?

Sunday, September 07, 2008

My Palin statement.... If anyone cares

Man, I have seen more political discussions in my community since Palin was nominated as Vice Pres candidate - Christians, families with children with Down syndrome, homeschoolers - than ever before.

A few people have asked my opinion about Palin. So here it is:

I was born into the one-issue conservative Right - pro-life. We marched for life and I believed that no one I knew would be a Democrate!

I birthed and adopted 2 children into the Left. They will rely on good social welfare for their whole life. And my occupation has led me to see that without the Church in their full Biblical role of feeder of the widows and orphans, I need to see a strong Democratic government in place to care for the homeless and forgotten.

But I am still so pro-life there is no party for me.

Enter Sara Palin.
1. I don't think anyone is a saint just for NOT aborting her baby. I think that view is OFFENSIVE and states something in people's hearts that I don't want to know about - that children with Down syndrome are lucky if they get born!
2. I don't know if a politician's children can change the political views of a party. The Republican's assumption that every man can/should care for themselves will not be challenged by a special needs child born into an affluent family. I assume all of Palin's children will have adequate funding.

On the flip side:
I was horrified and my mind sealed SHUT to Obama when I read he fought against saving the life of an out-of-the-womb baby who did not die during an abortion, since this would blur the question of when life begins. If life has not begun after birth, than my children may still be 'not alive'... And that's the dumbest idea I've ever thought!

So, I'm still hoping for a 3-party system, with option for some one to win between the Republican and Democratic platforms. In my dreams, a pro-life, socially liberal Christian who also opposes fighting people trapped in a religion far from God.

By the way, the war is my other political problem:
Don't argue that I have to follow my 'brother' Bush, killing children of Ishmael for oil - my brother is one doing the will of Our Father:

'Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.' Isaiah 1:16b-17