I haven't had time to blog lately, but I have alot of thoughts to share. By the way, if you are in the middle of reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe for the first time, DON'T READ THIS POST!
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On Aslan at the Stone Table:
It has been a long time since I have read the Chronicles, so the story was new again for me. And being a very visual learner, I was able to put things together that I had not picked up on or maybe I had just forgotten. So I was blown away by this set of scenes:
Basically, Edmund, the youngest and most sour brother, betrays the group to the queen for some Turkish delight. Because the law that rules Narnia, the White Witch controls traitors, so she comes to claim the life of Edmund. Aslan, the mighty lion, (described in the book by Beaver:)
"Is -- is he a man?" asked Lucy.
"Aslan a man!" said Mr. Beaver sternly. "Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of wood and the son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of the Beasts? Aslan is a lion -- the Lion, the great Lion."
"Ooh," said Susan, "I thought he was a man. Is he -- quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."
"That you will, dearie, and make no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else silly."
"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver, "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."
...speaks to the Witch in private, and she leaves Edmund and goes away satisfied... for later. That night, Aslan goes alone to a place full of the witch and her cronies. He silently walks through their gathering, while they mock him, whip him, then the White Witch kills him.
So, my reflections:
Often it is really helpful for me to understand my relationship to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit through allegories or other word pictures.
- In this case, I was amazed to see a Lion walking through a gathering of "creatures" that he could clearly dominate, alone, to die. It was moving to me to think of Jesus as powerful enough to ripe the whole city to shreds, but walk peacefully on.
- It never crossed my mind before that Satan must have thought he won. In my basic checks and balances system, Jesus had fulfilled the requirement of the Law. But I never realized that Satan thought he had conquered God for that day.
- And my human nature HATES this. I hate looking foolish, when I can set the story straight. As I watched Aslan quietly lay upon the table, I imagined my own urges - to at least bite a little piece of flesh to remind them how strong I was, so they would see that this was MY choice to die. To put them back in their place IMMEDIATELY and CONTINUOUSLY.
- I can relate to Peter even more, pulling out the sword and chopping off the ear. Every bit of Peter's manhood was challenged by the method Jesus was using to abolish the Law of Sin and Death.
- Once again, as when I read Rick Joyner's The Final Quest and The Call, I feel like I understand better what my life is suppose to be like - a battle. During a battle, stability and security have a different meaning and value than outside of war.
- Stability is a matter of footing, not staying in the same place.
- Security is not about resources, it is about preparing for the next step so you are not taken off guard.
- My last reflection is less serious... but I missed it before just the same. In Narnia, it is "always winter, but never Christmas" under the reign of the White Witch. I just caught on to the Christmas connection - Christmas represents the coming of Jesus, so in an oppressed land, Jesus has not come yet.
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On blogging:
I have previously been able to appreciate the value of blogs in my life. They have allowed me to reconnect with a community of people I have loved in the past, and share a level of conversation that does not exist in snail mail or mass emails. I look forward to reading what they have written and following the conversations they have with others, learning with each word how they view the world.
What I have not experienced until recently was pain through blogs. This is a sad side effect of random intimacy. About 2 weeks ago, I read the blog of an acquaintance who was reflecting on the possibility of having a baby with Down Syndrome. Honestly, this blog was NOT the hurtful blog. I can appreciate his honest reflection of his feelings. Then I shifted to his comments where I began in downward slide to getting my feelings hurt.
Basically, as I read through the initial remarks, I read the comment of someone who goes to my church. In the comment, I saw things that people must think about my life that bother me. I don't like the thought that someone congratulates me on adopting Darin, but really feels that this is something that is beyond words of sympathy.
Then I made my first mistake of leaving myself wide open for more irritation. I commented. I rambled on about each thing that had impacted me in reading the post and the comments. After the writer's initial reply, we shifted to email so we could converse more discretely. And I think that went well.
But the comment HELL continued. Well, not exactly in the comments. I suppose I actually found this in a link on another friend's blog. Of course, I am not the anonymous commenter on the original blog, who provoked most of this post, but I am the one who brought up the Down Syndrome and made it out to be the "greatest thing since sliced bread". And I have found myself hating this person, who I just casually know, and mentally expecting our friends to take a side in this blog-war.
Then, on the way to work today, I realized the damage done by all of us. By me for posting my opinion on a delicate subject. By the sister from my church for posting on a delicate subject. By all of us feeling like we understand the tone of conversation typed over the internet.
So, I want to repent and apologize to all that were involved or in the middle:
- To Dallas and Carrie
- I apologize for not keeping my mouth shut when I should have. I am sorry that I let Tiffany's comment lead me into reacting to you. Honestly, I made the mistake of taking her comment the worst way possible. And I know she didn't mean it that way.
- To Michael and Tammi
- I apologize for interfering with people and friendships you have that I am not really involved in. I do not know Dallas & Carrie well enough to say what I did to them. I hope I did not create problems for you, since you are our common connection. Please forgive me for having a big mouth. Thank you for loving our kids and never telling me if you agree with things posted that hurt me. I have determined now that I would rather not know.
- To Tiffany
- I apologize for not giving you the benefit of a doubt in reading your comment to Dallas and Carrie. I repent for letting it build a wall in my heart between you and I.
- To David and Cohen
- I apologize for hurting someone you value and not validating his opinion. I repent from hating you for your views and your unkind words. I don't know your tone or intent either.
- To Joel
- I apologize if my impulsive response to Dallas embarassed you or hurt your friendship with Michael. I repent of this and commit to sit under your slower to respond wise counsel.
- To Amy
- I apologize for bringing you into this at all. I repent of talking about it to appease my anger.
I am truly sorry for hurting anyone by my perspective.
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