Friday, April 14, 2006

Spiritual warfare

My opinions/beliefs on spiritual warfare began to develop in the summer of 1999. At Camp Barnabas, we had some events that I can't recall very clearly, except to say that they shook up some people, and made them afraid, and disjointed our staff. These events related to the presence of demons, the devil, or workers of Satan, in our midst. And how to handle this as a Christian.

After that summer, until I returned as Women's Director in summer 2000, I worked steadily to create a framework of God to determine how to handle spiritual warfare. This framework was developed into a bible study that we explored during summer 2000 at Camp Barnabas. And I haven't done much with it since. But it helps me to determine how to view situations.

Today, I found this quote that sums up what I spent a year on:

"Prayer should never be understood primarily in terms of power but rather as relating to God who is the source of all power. The difference between the two is significant. If prayer is understood as power, Christians will readily seek power words or rituals rather than personally relating to a sovereign God and waiting for him to act in his own time. Likewise, these understandings help us comprehend the nature of spiritual warfare. Spiritual warfare is not about fighting Satan; he has been defeated by the triumphal resurrection of Jesus Christ. Spiritual warfare rather is standing firm in Christ’s mighty power. It is accepting God’s victory through Christ by faith and allowing God’s redemptive power to work through Christ." (Van Rheenen, "Power, Theology of," Evangelical Dictionary of World Missions, 2000:776-778)


It has never made sense to me to "rebuke Satan" for it is written:
"But even the archangel Michael, when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not dare to bring a slanderous accusation against him, but said, "The Lord rebuke you!" Yet these men speak abusively against whatever they do not understand; and what things they do understand by instinct, like unreasoning animals—these are the very things that destroy them." (Jude 9-10)


I have a picture in my head, that I look at to help me figure out how things work:
  • The battlefield is earth, a land ruled by Satan.
  • The army of Satan is holding people under their dominion as blind slaves.
    2 Cor4:4 "Regarding them: the god of this age has blinded the minds of the unbelievers so they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
  • We are freed from this slavery, and our eyes are opened to the situation
    Col 1:13 "He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves"
  • Now, when we need direction, we COMMUNICATE, not with our captors, but with HIM WHO HAS FREED US, the commander of the Lord's army.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Growth

I would like to get back to why I wanted this blog, to honestly share what I am learning, and hear from my friends...

For about 2 months, I have been forced to view God in a whole new light. Starting with the Kaleo retreat focused on PRAYER, I began to realize for the first time what an amazing thing it is that God, who created all, is in all, and holds all things in His hand, will allow me to communicate with Him.
Then, I started a Bible study with Kelly B. on Leviticus, which has continued to illuminate this for me.

I am realizing that most of my walk with God (going on 9 years now), has been with shallow faith. I pray safe and predictable prayers that I am fairly certain I know the answer to before speaking them. And I reflect God to others in a dishonoring way.
Most of the time, I "respect" other's readiness to hear about God, feel like I have be intellectually prepared for sharing Him, and tiptoe around sin as if it is not that bad.

THIS IS WRONG.

In looking at the sacrificial system set up by God in Leviticus, I don't see a God who lets people come to Him on their terms. His system was precise, and intentional, and did not leave itself up for interpretation. In fact, in Lev 10, Aaron's sons offered "strange fire" to God, and were killed instantly. Then, in I Sam 2:11-3:11, Eli's sons defile the temple, are killed, and the priesthood is removed from their family. In I Sam 14:26, Saul's kingship is removed since he performed the sacrifices in a different way than God prescribed.

My relationship with God is often guided by a picture in my head. I often pray, picturing where in the battle of the Lord I see someone.

Here is the newest picture.
God as KING. And like the king in Esther, anyone who enters His presence is placing their life in His hands.
Us as SERVANTS/SLAVES, someone whose life has been rescued from the enemy land. I converse with Him by using the name of His son to gain entrance into the throne-room without being judged for my own work for the enemy.
Life as WORK FOR THE LORD.... follow me here.
- If I work for Him, I worry the most if He is satisfied by how my day is spent.
- If I work for Him, I hold the others I have seen come into His presence in the name of the Lord to a high standard.
- Their sin is offensive to the God I serve... it is not a joke, a phase. It is deadly. A holy God must be approach with respect for WHO He is.
- If I work for Him, I will trust Him for the words in an uncomfortable setting, because my rescue is a constant reminder that they need to be rescued, too.

Maybe you got this along time ago... not me. I think I was more keen on "Jesus is a good boyfriend" than GOD IS ALMIGHTY, ALL-POWERFUL, COMPLETELY JUST IN JUDGING MY SIN, COMPLETELY LOVE IN SENDING JESUS, FULLY WORTHY OF ALL HONOR AND PRAISE.

I barely know where to begin with this type of living. It has already put me in 2 uncomfortable situations, and I don't think that is the end.

Thanks for getting this started, Jake.

Friday, March 24, 2006

My "pregnancy" with Darin

Praise the LORD!
Today was a beautiful God-filled day.

The title may confuse you, but this week, I have know of and/or been with Darin Michael for 40 weeks (which for those of you who haven't been pregnant, is the length of a pregnancy).
And this week, the labor pains of his birth into our family began...
Labor with adoption is unique... first they have to go to court to terminate the rights of the biological parents, then they have to finalize the adoption into your family.

On Wednesday at 2:30pm, our social worker from the adoption agency called. For nine months, they had been unable to contact his biological father. And now, after being served the papers for termination of parental rights, he had contacted his "ad liem" lawyer, to question the paternity.
The lawyer contact New Life, and inquired about Darin. After our social worker emphasized the medical needs of Darin, the lawyer called back to let her know that his dad would come to court on Friday (TODAY) to sign away his rights.

The past 2 days have been very hard for Joel and I. We had know way to know the motivations or ideas behind his dad coming to court. And we felt like we were forced to walk into a potential miscarriage.

I prayed so much through Thursday... that God would confirm the placement of Darin in our life, that I would respond in a God honoring way to all possible outcomes, that my husband would not do anything illegal (like leave the country with Darin) JUST JOKING!, and that Darin would have the best situation to grow up in possible.

At 8:30am, Joel, Darin, and I went to the Fort Bend County Courthouse. We found our way to the 2nd floor, where we met the New Life lawyer. He examined the docket, and we all headed down to the 1st floor. Right away, I spotted a man fitting the description that Lonnie (Darin's tummy mama) had given me of Zeke. I told the lawyer, and he approached him. After a brief exchange, the lawyer introduced us.
Immediately, there was peace.
After a hug (from me) and a handshake (from Joel), we sat down, where Zeke proceeded to express his confidence in signing the baby over to our care. We spent the next 30 minutes getting acquainted. About that time, the social worker from New Life finally found us (she had been waiting on the 2nd floor) and was SHOCKED to see the connection that had been made. Darin was sitting in Zeke's lap, and we were all just talking.
After that, the lawyers milled around and completed the paperwork with Zeke, and we discussed the future.

God's provision is perfect. Now we know that Darin has 3 dads - the One in Heaven, the one at my house, and the one we met today.
Who's luckier than that!?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Bloglines

If you are a blog-reader, and haven't yet discovered Bloglines, this will make your life easier. Thanks for enlightening me, Bill.

Monday, January 23, 2006

The Ringer

If you haven't seen The Ringer you are missing out. It is going to be the movie I show Arabella and Darin so that they know they can be anyone and acheive anything they dream up. I laughed my head off!

PostSecret


Does anyone else check out PostSecret? I really like this postcard:

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

God's design and pregnancy

The last post made me think about another thing that shows God's amazing design - pregnancy. Now, it is obvious that God is designing the formation of the baby. But what I was able to appreciate during both of my pregnancies was God's design in the TIMING! God could have had a baby grow and develop at any rate he wanted - a day or 2 years (yikes!)... but as we know, these times do exist in other creatures.
So, I want to focus on 9 months...
In these 9 months, you can see that God know his creation (us) completely.
In the first 3 months, you are able to adjust to the idea of having a baby, without really needing to "do" anything... maybe just stop doing things (caffeine, smoking, rock-climbing, etc.)
In the next 3 months, fears of how you can afford a baby, how you will learn to raise a child, etc. can be strong, and if the baby was born in this time, you would probably feel unprepared (as when a premie is born)
But the last 3 months are the perfect final. The 6 months prior have given you sufficient time to explore your fears, plan the best you can, then get over being in control, and just get EXCITED! By the end of 9 months, you are NOT hoping for another day to prepare. You are as ready as you will ever be, and you are completely in LOVE with the baby inside of you.
Thanks, God, for knowing what we need.

I was really able to appreciate this with Darin, who we found out about end of May, born 3 weeks later (early June), and we brought home on July 5th. All the emotions and preparations did not arrive until he was 3 months old... adoption has a process of it's own.

Sex and the Supremacy of God

On Joel's birthday, we ended up at Barnes & Noble (like we do on EVERY date), but this time we were lucky enough to have Tim with us. I settled into a comfy chair to read, while the boys wandered. Unfortunately, they didn't have a copy of my most recent book, Mudhouse Sabbath, by my favorite Lauren Winner. So I picked up two others... Traveling Mercies, by Anne Lamonte, since by best girl Amy (Heath) Rounsavell has been recommending it for 3 years, and Sex and the Supremacy of God, by my favorite pastor in another city John Piper. And as is common on these reading-dates, I read a good chunk of each book... Traveling Mercies is still up for grabs - I don't know if I like it or not, but will finish it to find out.

But Sex and the Supremacy of God was truly enlightening. Honestly, I only made it through about 2 chapters, before I felt like I needed to step back and just ponder these thoughts. This is my common practice with Piper's books... just take sips, like a strong liquor.
Back to the book...
The main theme in Piper's books with titles including "the Supremacy of God" is that all things in earth and heaven exist to GLORIFY GOD. He is above all and all things are FOR HIM!
The fascinating part is how this is related to sex.
Sexuality is designed by God as a way to know God in Christ more fully...
Knowing God in Christ more fully is designed as a way of guarding and guiding our sexuality...
Now to state the two points again, this time negatively, in the first place all misuses of our sexuality distort the true knowledge of Christ. And, in the second place, all misuses of our sexuality derive from not having the true knowledge of Christ.
In other words, the ultimate reason (not the only one) why we are sexual is to make God more deeply knowable. The language and imagery of sexuality is the most graphic and most powerful that the Bible uses to describe the relationship between God and his people—both positively (when we are faithful) and negatively (when we are not).

This is very amazing to think about. I am always excited when I begin to understand more about how complicated we were created. And with the perversion of sex, it is easy for me to wonder about why God created it at all. So this was enlightening for me.

Monday, January 16, 2006

I have tried to sit down to post 2-3 blogs lately, but motherhood has not permitted... but here's what is left in my brain of them.

Message on Matt 18:15-20 - 1/15/06
Well, yesterdays message at Kaleo pretty much stuck it to me.
The message itself (definitely worth downloading and listening to) was about discipline within the church. And we cross-referenced Deuteronomy 19:15-19, which is the old testament law about having the testimony of 2-3 brothers to convict someone of an offense. I'm not going to go into this whole thing because Bill did a SUPERB job. Just listen to it. It helped me understand where this has gone wrong before.

Okay, but on my conviction... it wasn't really related to the topic. At this point, there is no one I feel like I need to confront for any sin I am witnessing in their life. But one thing Bill said really got me. He was talking about the sins that we might witness in others... not just the obvious ones, but even the sin of unbelief.
And that is where he got me. I realized that was the sin I was wallowing in for the past 3 weeks. I have had a whole bunch of uncontrollable situations going on. And they have been driving me to tears daily. And I have been cussing about them. And most of all, I have been DOUBTING that God was going to be in control of them.
It was actually a relief to figure it out. And be able to repent of it and start over in faith.

But it also gave me a different perspective of church discipline. The Matt 18:15-20 text is talking about confronting a brother in private over a sin, then following the appropriate steps if they do not respond. And one of Bill's central points was that we have to TALK to the person (not email them, write them, etc.). And when you imagine confronting someone, that doesn't sound fun.
But sitting in that seat and feeling so convicted made me realize I WANTED SOMEONE TO TELL IT TO ME STRAIGHT. All week last week, I was trying to make clear to someone that I was screwing it up and I needed help pinpointing the problem. What would have felt like confrontation or hard talk to them WOULD HAVE BEEN A RELIEF TO ME.

I think that should be a comfort. When the Holy Spirit is guiding us, we should not hesitate in fear of how the prompting from Him will be received. He is preparing BOTH sides for his intervention.
And this can really carry over to sharing the Lord with an unbeliever. When we don't feel like we know all the "right" arguments for Christianity, we may hesitate. But the Holy Spirit will prompt us with just the information that person needs, and build our reliance on Him instead of ourself or our knowledge.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Ling xiu

From Voices of the Faithful compiled by Kim P. Davis
Most workers from our organization must learn a foreign language. For me, it's Mandarin Chinese. While studying, I was intrigued by the phrase ling xiu (leeng SHE-oo), which refers to a Christian's daily devotional time.
Although this was new vocabulary, I already had learned both of the characters in different contexts. Ling means "spirit" or "soul." Xiu means "to repair." I had learned xiu I with the washing-machine repairman who was coming weekly to keep our ancient model running!
In my notes, I wrote "devotional= spirit repair." What a fitting way to describe our devotional time: repairing the soul by reading God's word and communing with Him. Like that dilapidated washing machine, my spirit needs the ultimate Repairman. Although I complained about the washer, it was stronger than my own inner man. It needed weekly repair, while I need it daily.
At one point, the repairman explained that the washer was used too often. I laughed inwardly at his solution - if I could just stop dirty laundry from accumulating, all would be well! What a parallel to how the stresses of life wear away our spiritual vitality just like the never-ending laundry wears out the washer's parts.
We can't stop the stresses of life any more than my family can stop producing dirty clothes. So I keep calling the Repairman to patch up my soul. Our daily "spirit repair" time is what keeps me sharing the gospel even with slow results and using my poor Mandarin when I look foolish. It provides compassion for my city so I can fulfill God's call in my life.

I'm a word-picture person and it is always helpful to have one more picture to drive me to the Lord.
-------------------------------------

I want to share with my blog friends about some people close to my heart and the life changes that are taking place. Michael and Tammi Rice have been close friends of Joel and I for around 4 years now. Actually, our beginnings are pretty awkward and funny.
When Joel and I started hanging out in August 2000, Joel had been a Christian about 3 months. Slightly before him, his friend Brian, also a former atheist, had also become a Christian, through the birth of Brian's son. Anyway, they had started having informal bible studies at Brian's apartment, and Joel invited me to come along. He explained in advance that I would probably be asked to read aloud from the Bible, since they were all so new at this and not comfortable yet. Also, when they prayed, it was silently, since no one was comfortable praying aloud either. All this was funny to me, since I had grown up in church and bible studies, and it had never dawned on me that it was odd to pray aloud.
So, I attended this Bible study twice with Joel. This first week was pretty "normal" compared to my other Bible Study experience. We read through some scripture, discussed it, and bowed our heads to silently pray. The second week things got weird. Basically, some people were invited to "come hang out" without really knowing about the Bible Study part. Mike and Tammi were at this Bible Study... I think they might have know about the bible part, but some of our other friends definitely did not. This was also something that I had not concept of - I had never been somewhere when people came to a bible study unaware. In fact, it wasn't until after the fact that I caught on to this. Anyway, alot of awkward debate ensued, and people were offended, and Mike and Tammi were somewhere in the middle of all the friends, Christian and not. And since I was just meeting these people, and thinking "why did you come to a Bible study if you don't believe in God?", I didn't really connect with Mike or Tammi.
My second encounter with Mike was worse than the first. It was in Spring 2001 when I was pregnant with Arabella, working full-time at Star of Hope (including 2 nights until 10:30pm), and VERY MOODY. I came home to Joel & I's apartment around 11pm one night. He was hanging out with someone I didn't know well (Mike) and I was tired. So I walked straight to my bedroom, got ready for bed, and called for Joel from there. I said something bitchy about the guest leaving, and went to sleep. (and we wonder while Joel was so in favor of adoption/never being pregnant again!)
But the third encounter with Mike & Tammi was totally different. We ran into them at a show at Mary Jane's in Fall 2001, when Arabella was a few months old. It was one of my first nights out without the baby, and I actually didn't leave her very far. My Mimi lives off the same street as MJ's, so I just dropped her there between feedings, then went back in time to feed her. Tammi and I started talking as soon as we got to the show, then she left to go with me to Mimi's and bring the baby back, then she sat outside with me and Arabella while the men finished the show. Tammi was so easy to get to know that I wondered how I had missed out on her the year before.
At that time, they started coming to Ecclesia with us, and quickly became involved in the same small group we were in. Our lives became very intertwined. They epitimize community living by their entire attitudes. I remember that first year as a beautiful mixture of resources - money, time, friendship. With Mike & Tammi, there is never an awkward discussion of balancing who paid for this dinner with who will pay next time. They are NOT worried about being even = they are always willing to be ahead. They are "givers." Hopefully, in the long run, we haven't just been "takers," but I know that Mike & Tammi don't keep track.
When they started going to Ecclesia, Mike was still figuring out where he stood with Jesus. I think this is often harder for people raised in the church. It is hard to make it your own and not just feel like you are defaulting to your parents' choice. But eventually, Mike was baptized at Ecclesia. That is a pretty funny story. The baptistry at South Main (where Ecclesia had church) was either not filled up, or not heated up, or both. So, we headed outside the fountain in front of the church. By the way, it was COLD. Also, Mike is 6'+ and the fountain was about 1' deep, so this was a humbling challenge, but very neat.
Anyway...
From the start, Tammi has been talking about going to Africa. Back in 2002, she talked Peace-Corp, cuz she and Mike are very interested in social reform and helping in a tangible way. She also has been talking about adopting children and/or being houseparents to orphans.
Last year, they started looking for a mission organization to go to Africa with. And they went to a meeting at Mike's parent's church about a trip to Kenya, Gateway, where they experience some frustration that I remember from my college years - people don't take your seriously. When you want to be a life-time missionary, it is hard to convince people that this is your dream for forever. I remember Tammi saying, "We told them we could bring tents and sleeping bags, if we could just come." But of course, the process is alot more complicated then that.
But Tammi stayed on the email list for this ministry in Kenya, and she continued to fall in love with it. The ministry is actually called Starfish Kenya. To sum up the ministry, basically, a Kenyan couple has adopted 31 orphans and needs lots of help. Tammi & Mike started planning to go on Gateway's annual trip this summer.
Then, over Thanksgiving, the Kenyan father, Naftali, suddenly passed away. This has left Margaret, the mother, alone to care for all the children. As soon as Tammi told me about Naftali's death, I knew that it was time for them to go. Everything in their lives has been leading to this - being about to help Margaret raise these orphans.
So, they are preparing to go to Kenya in September, after graduating in May from University of Houston, and then attending Montessori training over the summer.
Please pray for them. They must raise about $20,000 this year. They have to finish school and keep working their full-time jobs.
Please pray for Margaret. 9-months doesn't seem long for Mike & Tammi to prepare; it seems like a long time for Margaret to be on her own.